Progression Of Knowledge
by piefaced
Summary: It takes Akira seven months, six days and fourteen hours to realise that he likes Shuuji. Akira/Shuuji


**Progression Of Knowledge**

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**1.**

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For Akira, there are only three things that matter; his friends, his secret stash of soymilk and the way Shuuji's smile makes him warm.

It's both like and unlike the way Nobuta's smile makes him warm too, but this, Akira wants to tell everyone about: He wants everyone to know how Shuuji is beautiful when he smiles.

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**2.**

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It takes Akira seven months, six days and fourteen hours to realise that he likes Shuuji like _that_ (because he's always liked Shuuji, even when Shuuji didn't like him, so Akira doesn't notice the difference until Shuuji accidentally falls asleep on his shoulder and he feels all funny about it).

It takes him only three seconds to panic about it (and it takes Nobuta two hours to wrangle it out of him over the phone).

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**3.**

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Akira doesn't remember about Shuuji's girlfriend until later.

Shuuji has a girlfriend. Her name is Mayumi and she's small and delicate and pretty. Akira tries not to watch the way Shuuji is sweet to her, or the way he smiles at her because something ugly in him says, _Shuuji's mine_ and Akira doesn't like that part of himself very much.

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**4.**

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He writes out on paper the many ways he loves Shuuji, and then he tears it up and throws it away because he's learnt he's not a very good person when he's in love.

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**5.**

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It's sick the way he wants Shuuji, the way he wants Shuuji to want him back. The curling in his belly and the ache in his throat. Akira doesn't want to have to not love Shuuji.

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**6.**

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Akira doesn't change; not because he doesn't need to, or because he should but he's too stubborn to, but because Akira is Akira and he knows who he is, and if he loves Shuuji, then he will love Shuuji, just like he still loves Nobuta, even if he says he doesn't.

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**7.**

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When Akira's father asks about his living conditions (and whether he'd like a penthouse or not, Akira - don't start throwing punches yet, let me finish), Akira says he's already living with someone who can take care of him.

Ten frantic minutes later, Akira cajoles Shuuji into moving in.

(Shuuji caves in pretty quickly; the idiot needs _someone_ there to make sure he doesn't just have soymilk for breakfast, lunch and dinner after all).

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**8.**

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Shuuji walks into his new apartment, looks at the mess and closes his eyes. He may have sighed too, but Akira's too preoccupied with the line of Shuuji's throat to really pay attention.

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**9.**

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Akira finds himself a stranger in his own home; he can't find out where he put the salt, or even where the instant ramen is. Everything is so _clean. _

"Wow," he says to Shuuji, who only rolls his eyes and points him to ramen cupboard with his mop.

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**10.**

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Things change. Akira changes, Nobuta changes, _Shuuji_ changes. They aren't standing still.

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**11.**

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Shuuji's girlfriend comes by all the time. Akira doesn't like to talk to her, but she likes to talk to him a lot. She thinks he knows all about Shuuji, but Akira doesn't. He only knows Shuuji's heart, and he doesn't know all of that. It's not possible to know all about someone's heart, Akira informs her solemnly and he refuses to speak another word until she's gone.

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**12.**

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It's only later that Akira realises that Shuuji had broken up with her a few moments ago.

He wishes he was kinder.

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**13.**

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Shuuji is upset. Akira thinks it's because he misses Mayumi. Akira would be upset too, if he broke up with soymilk-man, who sells him his soymilk.

Shuuji doesn't scold Akira for bringing her up though, but he's short with him. He talks to Nobuta for only three minutes on the phone before hanging up, and when his father comes by and mentions something about not seeing Mayumi-chan around recently, Shuuji only tightly reminds him that he's got a hole in the elbow of his shirt. He almost doesn't offer to sew it up.

That's how Akira knows Shuuji _really_ misses Mayumi.

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**14.**

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Shuuji is like a boiling pot, ready to go off and bubble all over the edges, which is what happens when Akira puts something on the stove and forgets about it. He takes Shuuji to the roof and makes him speak to Kon Kon-san. Shuuji doesn't say anything, not even when Kon Kon-san accidentally bumps his nose into the side of the wall, but he smiles, a real Shuuji smile.

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**15.**

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Akira would prefer never to mention Mayumi ever again, but Nobuta says bottling it up is bad for you (Akira asks her where she learnt that. Nobuta says Mariko told her and Akira has to concur; Mariko knows all about Dealing With Stuff), so he sits Shuuji down solemnly and asks him why he broke up with Mayumi.

Shuuji doesn't say anything for a long time. Then, he turns to Akira and says, "Don't you know?"

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**16.**

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When Nobuta is over the next weekend, Akira informs her that he does _not_ know and Shuuji won't tell him.

Nobuta thinks for a moment. Then she looks up. Akira thinks she might be trying to smile again. "AKIRA should find out himself."

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**17.**

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Akira listens to Nobuta because Nobuta is usually right. He asks Shuuji's papa and Shuuji's brother and they don't know anything. He asks Kon Kon-san and Kon Kon-san is just as confused as Akira. He even tries to ask Mariko, but Nobuta made Mariko promise not to say anything.

Akira pouts.

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**18.**

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"Nobuta," Akira says. "Lost. Kon Kon-san is very lost."

Nobuta regards him silently. Akira stares back.

Then, Nobuta speaks. "Kon Kon-san should ask Shuuji. Because Shuuji knows Shuuji best."

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**19.**

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Akira does ask Shuuji.

Shuuji looks at him as if he's mad. "That's why you spent the last few days bothering Koji?"

"Tell me," he says, insistently.

The silence settles all the way deep in Akira's belly uncomfortably before Shuuji laughs suddenly, loud and quick.

"Idiot," he says. "I didn't love Mayumi."

Akira's heart is pounding. There's a lump in his throat. He aches, and he doesn't even know why. Maybe it's the way Shuuji looks at him. Maybe it's the way Shuuji's leaning over, maybe it's the way Shuuji curls a hand in his. Maybe it's the way Shuuji is carefully, so carefully watching him, eyes soft.

"It was you," Shuuji says and he smiles like the sky is blue and not like the mucky grey it is now.

If Akira was stupider, he'd say he fell in love with Shuuji's smile, but he knows it was Shuuji's heart that he fell in love with, first.

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**20.**

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Akira is upset that he couldn't have been kissing Shuuji earlier.

"Don't say stupid things like that," Shuuji says, but he's smiling and Akira smiles, too.


End file.
